The recent ’30 Minuten mit Jordan Carver’ made me realize we’ve been subconsciously subjected to an increasing amount of American-themed sets by Jordan Carver without actually realizing it: Pocahontas, Stars and Stripes, cowgirls and haystacks, and of course, above, a trip to the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles wearing one of the bustiest Batman logos ever – even the DC comics (bad new logo btw) artists couldn’t cartoonize tits that big as good as Jordan does it with her natural 34Gs!

Whole episode of some Germanic television show tracking Jordan Carver’s pursuits in America to be a top model. Hell I never knew she was German, let alone single – too bad I hate Los Angeles. At some point in the show she says, “The really big breasts, I inherited from my mother. By nature I had E cup size, Now I’ve double-H.” Wowee!! They also gave her measurements, but in metric – sorry Europe, but 109-60-89 just doesn’t have the same ring as 43-24-35. Anyhow, enjoy watching!

[via Bild.de]

Sure other blogs have been showing off Jordan Carver‘s recent foray into yoga, but my story goes like this! Fucked a yoga teacher once. Let’s call her… mmm, Kay. Yeah that sounds inconspicuous enough. Okay so let me start off by saying that by being a yoga instructor you’re not necessarily slim – Kay was proof of that. She wasn’t big, but she had her love handles if you know what I mean. She also had some absolutely ginormous breasts – probably about as monstrous as Jordan’s here, at 34G, but all-natural with big 4″ areola. They were slightly droopy, but heavy. Met her through a friend and we hung out a couple times at said friend’s apartment for group dinners and social gatherings. You know how these things go where at some point you make a mention that you ‘really want to know about yoga’ but wouldn’t know where to begin – you don’t come out and say that right away, but you ask a few questions, get the conversation rolling, and then just sort of put that idea out there. Well, Kay offered me a ‘free lesson’ – uhh huh! In order to not sound too eager I booked it a month away – all the more reason to build up my sexual tension!! I made sure my then-roommate was out for the evening, and she shows up. I’m going to skip all the flirting and foreplay details and get right down to the nitty gritty: the sex! The sex lasted nearly 4 hours. My dick was absolutely throbbing by the time I came, and the orgasm seemed to go on forever. The closest analogy I can make is it’s like, imagine when you were a kid and you played on the monkeybars, right. You’re all suspended, in weird positions, stretching to reach the next bar. So, imagine doing that in super-duper slow-mo, only with your dick inside this super hot bird and her breasts becoming the handlebars that you grab onto and won’t let go of! And I’m not a slow fucker let me tell you, but I enjoyed this completely – I think because I waited a month for it! I only came once but that was all she wanted. It was clearly a ‘practice’ she dabbled in quite often, and what she and my friend who introduced me to her forgot to mention was that she had already planned on moving out of state a few weeks later. I personally appreciate a lady who can fuck-n-forget. Of course I still keep tabs on her, through my friend, but just you know there’s a yoga instructor roaming around out there seducing guys with her ‘class schedule’, and she’s got some hefty tits, and a flexible but prominent waistline!! loL!!

You know they’re big when they’re this big from behind:

Jordan Carver must have a knack for the holiday big-boob flair. The last time I reported on her was just after Thanksgiving last year, for her interpretation of Pocahontas. Now, she’s the Easter bunny – I’m just hoping there’s still time left on the clock for me to hunt her down and nibble on her gigantic 34G boobs! Non-nudity or not (prefer not!) I could still stare down that gaping cleavage gap all day long:

I admit I’m still recovering from food-consumption-euphoria myself. And while time with family and friends is always welcome, those who know me know there’s one time that’s always more welcome: BOOB TIME! It comes in many forms, and I’m not generally picky – I’m more about the experience, and the moment. And what I wouldn’t give to have a moment with Jordan Carver and her absolutely perfect 34G breasts – yes, there’s a reason they’re “perfect”, but if those few pictures where you can see her nipples poking through her blouse are any indication, she’s as excited by the prospect as I am! And believe you-me, I can nibble and nibble for hours on end:

At least on my 23″ widescreen monitor at 1920×1080 resolution I like to think that the above image is approximately the cleavage that would be generated by Jordan Carver and her whopping 34G breasts. Approximately. Of course, if I was wrong, I think it’s safe to say that it could only be because her breasts are BIGGER than my approximation! Aha – that is a good thing to be wrong every now and then! But seriously I’m always about high-res and high-quality content, and you can see these original images – including the shot that the above crop is from – below of Jordan, courtesy of Action Girls where her and other big boob babes fill their ranks.

Hey let’s not beat around the bush shall we. That was a weird video! I mean straaaaange! There’s no doubt that PinupFiles 34G model Jordan Carver is about as hot as a planet with five suns, but that narrator’s voice still has my spine shivering. But I guess it makes sense, because while Jordan is of Italian decent she actually grew up in Munich and therefore has a wicked Bavarian tongue herself. Wouldn’t mind hearing her talk actually, so hopefully her “JC Media” company will eventually release some audio of her, or she could always feel free to do an interview with me!